I have decided that I am being illegally held in lockdown. But there is nothing I can do about it as it is against the laws of nature, not of the government.
That is not the view of some relatives of care home residents who are threatening to take the government to court over what they claim is an infringement of their liberty. Interesting.
The latest example of the tough approach to the resurgent coronavirus is the law limiting gatherings in England to six indoors and outdoor - 'the rule of six' - with a different interpretation in Wales and Scotland.
Another hasty decision, probably justified in view of the big increase in the number of cases - 3,5000 yesterday, the highest since May.
The trouble with drastic action is the time lag. Announced late this week it takes effect on Monday.
With an early autumn heat wave on us, no doubt people will be making play while the sun shines this week-end, increasing the risk to all of us.
Another edict, not a law, sees the setting up of an army of 'marshals' to police - no, that is not the word - to ensure the public accept the laws on safe distance and face masks.
Not quite the wild west, more like Dad's Army. And who will be responsible? Hard pressed local government. An impossible task.
Town hall chiefs will now be sheriffs with teams of marshals - scores in small towns, hundred in cities.Their uniforms - probably arm bands. Their powers? Just advising - or calling the police.
Perhaps a better, certainly cheaper idea would have been to ask for volunteers. LDV - Local Detection Volunteers? - following the LDV, Local Defence Volunteers, the original name for the Home Guard.
It reminds me of the cold war days in the nineteen seventies when in the event of a nuclear war, county council chief executives would have the ultimate power, masters of life and death.
Their new role, fortunately, is not that drastic but the government must surely be wary of taking away more of our freedoms.
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