Coronavirus diary, Saturday 27 June

Nothing is easy or straightforward when it comes to trying to restore some normality in our life after lockdown. It needs imagination, initiative and careful planning. Bright ideas.

The trouble is that, without any past experience to go on, bright ideas often prove difficult, unworkable even. 

The latest one to be put to the test is, lets go down to the pub! It sounds fine.Nostalgic. But it can't be like that. We are in a different age. Why can't we enjoy that simple, traditional pleasure?

It won't be simple, or, probably, a pleasure. What can spoil it?
Quite a lot We won't be able to just stroll in, walk up to the bar and give our order.

If more than a handful of people arrive at the same time we will have to queue, outside, maybe, in the rain - safely spaced - until we are allowed in.

No standing at the bar; we take our place at the safely spaced just disinfected table. Either then or perhaps we can get our drinks.

The rules say we can order by app. But I have no app, no smartphone. We wait for our drinks, conversation stifled by the obligatory face masks. No crisps or peanuts. At last the beer comes, and we have our first drink at a pub for months.

Then there is another problem. We have to lower our mask to to take it. What is the point of England's one metre rule then?

According to some lawyers it would be illegal, a breach of privacy to be forced to divulge personal details - death to a no name, no drink plan. 

It can be argued that  when booking at a restaurant we give our name and address but this goes farther. Would a landlord with one or two staff have the time to carry out the government's instructions?

I am not looking forward to that sort of experience.
I would not like to be watched and punished if I broke the rules. Popping down to the Dog and Duck seems not as inviting as I thought. Even if it means escaping from home at last.

I don't think it is worth the hassle.

I think I will settle for a couple of bottles from Tesco and enjoy a quiet, if lonely drink at home.

There goes another bright idea.